Pursuit of Happiness? Finding Pleasure in the Paradox

I’m usually smiling.

I usually post comical, motivational and encouraging posts, photos, and stories.

I’m usually happy.

Except when I’m not.

Some moments I cry, some moments I cringe, and the worst are moments of indifference.  The moments when I just don’t care nor ponder the ‘whys’ of life that I love to entertain.  I used to be ashamed and slightly embarrassed to admit fatigue or discontent, believing happiness was my identity.  Instead of basking in a human emotion, I attempted to hold it down until it was suffocated, until the moment passed.

I think that this perception is pretty darn common and I’m not the only smile that feels the pressure to be happy.  

Especially lately, I've seen numerous articles on the topic-

“The Top 10 Practices of Happy People” 

“25 Things I Wish I had Known when I was 25” 

"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People"

etc…etc..

At first I gobbled it up, “yes, YES, I get it! Thank you Buzzfeed, kudos Upworthy, I am grateful, I am happy, you’re right!”

:smile, sigh, keep browsing:

goodness gracious.

I would self-reflect: how is it possible that I would feel an ounce of dissatisfaction? I eat well, exercise, and am an intelligent individual with a bright future (knock on that mahogany).  During moments of ashamed unhappiness or days that lacked motivation I would feel pressure from myself, from other upbeat pony-tailed girls, and social media outlets that made being unhappy seem WRONG.

Until it dawned on me that these are feelings that can occur just as easily and frequently as joy, love, bliss, and sadness.  It’s as part of being a human as breathing, walking, and sleeping.  The pressure to ALWAYS BE HAPPY was in turn, making me miss out on a very real emotion and bringing me down even further in the process...of being down.

I know this isn't a novel concept but it may be a notion difficult to digest for the Nike wearing, broccoli eating, ecard posting gal.  In an era where happiness is not only a right but an expectation, the pressure can in fact, work against the goal. 

Bear in mind, I absolutely believe in the spirit of the mind and I AM usually quite chipper.  Yes of course good sleep, quality nutrients, water and solid relationships can all aid in this emotional endeavor.  

But what else helps?

The occasional cry, a sporadic lazy day, and even a “ughhhdflkj;dfg!!” that may erupt at 5am on a Monday morning.  It happens and THAT’S OKAY. 

Enjoy the laughter and appreciate the tears, it’s the culmination of these special actions that make being a human so damn extraordinary. 

In the midst of making sure we’re enjoying this nutty rollercoaster of life, we often miss the ride. Hop on and put those hands up...for us lucky ones, it aint over yet.