For me, there is nothing humorous nor entertaining about a "fun" size Snickers bar. Caramel, yup like that. Peanuts, yes of course. Chocolate, well I am a woman. Yet when these things are combined in a pinkie-sized packaged I do not find them comical.
How about those mini Reeses cups? Peanut butter and chocolate. I'm fairly positive these items will one day play a vital role in eventual world peace but when they are presented to me in the size of a large ladybug I quite honestly just get annoyed.
Why? Because these things aren't big enough to satisfy a hummingbird. Just as soon as you start to enjoy the deliciousness on your palate, the melting chocolate dancing on your tastebuds, it's gone. That's it? Oh wait, no, for a serving size you get one more, bringing your grand total of consumption to 1/12 of fulfillment.
Now here comes the tricky part: usually those "fun" sized treats just came from a BAG. Filled with MORE treats. Dont' lie, we've all done "fun-size math": "well, 2 bite-size treats is approximately 1/6 of a full candy bar so according to basic candy math I can have about 27 more."
Fun-size math happens all too often during this upcoming holiday season. One bite of something turns into an outrageous display of over-consumption. Especially for those of us who restrict ourselves until this time of treating occurs. Another example of this basic math: "I eat clean 90% of the time. So 2 cute little jack-o-lantern sugar cookies is really just 1/15 of what I deserve."
If only it was that fun.
Here's the thing about serving sizes: they were invented for a reason. Some evil man in a lab coat did the actual math and came up with these silly numbers with our, ugh, HEALTH in mind. Damn him.
Now, as someone who couldn't quite grasp basic geometry (what the frig is a rhombus?) but was a master at fun-size math for years, I've learned a few tricks. Get your index cards ready:
1. Drink water. Yes the is the most over-used tip in all the women's and men's health magazines but guess what, it's true. Goin' for another nacho? Take a sip of that aqua.
2. Add some bling to that water. Make it seltzer water. Throw in lemon wedges. Limes. Put in crushed ice (crushed just feels ballin'). Throw it in a wine glass. You will instantly feel like a healthy superstar.
3. Ziplocs. Bring baggies of almonds, carrots, celery, walnuts, apple slices with you everywhere. Friends offer you a twix? Oh no thanks, I've got my trusty bag of awesomeness right here.
4. Make your treats healthy meals. Craving a McFlurry? Make a shake with protein powder, banana, stevia (a natural sweetener), and ice. Put crushed up pieces of rice cake in. Need a pizza? Toast a whole-wheat tortilla and load it with veggies. I could go on and on with these things, let me know if you need more.
5. Write down the workouts you did the past week. Put it right next to your plate. Glance over at your hard work whenever you start to feel weak, no one wants to see their efforts disappear after a regretful weekend.
These are just a few and I would be MORE than happy to share others. Treats can certainly be tricky and it takes some time to figure out what works for you. If a fun-sized Milky Way is enough for you, bless your soul. If not, try some of these tips and remember that feeling and looking your best tastes about 9 zillion times better than a bag of candy.
It can be difficult at first but you gotta trick those treats and remember that the best costume is a healthy body, natural energy, and of course, a satisfied smile.
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