For me, there is nothing humorous nor entertaining about a "fun" size Snickers bar. Caramel, yup like that. Peanuts, yes of course. Chocolate, well I am a woman. Yet when these things are combined in a pinkie-sized packaged I do not find them comical.
How about those mini Reeses cups? Peanut butter and chocolate. I'm fairly positive these items will one day play a vital role in eventual world peace but when they are presented to me in the size of a large ladybug I quite honestly just get annoyed.
Why? Because these things aren't big enough to satisfy a hummingbird. Just as soon as you start to enjoy the deliciousness on your palate, the melting chocolate dancing on your tastebuds, it's gone. That's it? Oh wait, no, for a serving size you get one more, bringing your grand total of consumption to 1/12 of fulfillment.
Now here comes the tricky part: usually those "fun" sized treats just came from a BAG. Filled with MORE treats. Dont' lie, we've all done "fun-size math": "well, 2 bite-size treats is approximately 1/6 of a full candy bar so according to basic candy math I can have about 27 more."
Fun-size math happens all too often during this upcoming holiday season. One bite of something turns into an outrageous display of over-consumption. Especially for those of us who restrict ourselves until this time of treating occurs. Another example of this basic math: "I eat clean 90% of the time. So 2 cute little jack-o-lantern sugar cookies is really just 1/15 of what I deserve."
If only it was that fun.
Here's the thing about serving sizes: they were invented for a reason. Some evil man in a lab coat did the actual math and came up with these silly numbers with our, ugh, HEALTH in mind. Damn him.
Now, as someone who couldn't quite grasp basic geometry (what the frig is a rhombus?) but was a master at fun-size math for years, I've learned a few tricks. Get your index cards ready:
1. Drink water. Yes the is the most over-used tip in all the women's and men's health magazines but guess what, it's true. Goin' for another nacho? Take a sip of that aqua.
2. Add some bling to that water. Make it seltzer water. Throw in lemon wedges. Limes. Put in crushed ice (crushed just feels ballin'). Throw it in a wine glass. You will instantly feel like a healthy superstar.
3. Ziplocs. Bring baggies of almonds, carrots, celery, walnuts, apple slices with you everywhere. Friends offer you a twix? Oh no thanks, I've got my trusty bag of awesomeness right here.
4. Make your treats healthy meals. Craving a McFlurry? Make a shake with protein powder, banana, stevia (a natural sweetener), and ice. Put crushed up pieces of rice cake in. Need a pizza? Toast a whole-wheat tortilla and load it with veggies. I could go on and on with these things, let me know if you need more.
5. Write down the workouts you did the past week. Put it right next to your plate. Glance over at your hard work whenever you start to feel weak, no one wants to see their efforts disappear after a regretful weekend.
These are just a few and I would be MORE than happy to share others. Treats can certainly be tricky and it takes some time to figure out what works for you. If a fun-sized Milky Way is enough for you, bless your soul. If not, try some of these tips and remember that feeling and looking your best tastes about 9 zillion times better than a bag of candy.
It can be difficult at first but you gotta trick those treats and remember that the best costume is a healthy body, natural energy, and of course, a satisfied smile.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Monday, October 15, 2012
The Bathroom Trick
We've all had nights where a continuous face-off with the refrigerator is more annoying and distracting than the current Dancing With The Stars playing on the tube. Open the door. Close the door. A General Electric tango both irritaing and engrossing. The mini lightbulb just serving as a disco ball in this late night dance.
The peanut butter is still there...interesting. You'd think it could help you out and move behind the wilting lettuce...at least that way you wouldn't have to stare into it's glorious, chunky, brown eyes. And hey, there's that leftover pasta that, like a good Italian, has aged extremely well. These foods stare at you until you close the door, slink back to the couch, and look over your shoulder, walking away from a former lover. J'adorelafrigator.
ALRIGHTTT FINE. You leap off the couch and grab a spoon, a silver white flag of defeat. Wave it wildly as you yank open your lover's arms...err refrigerater door. Grasping the peanut butter jar you twist the top to get that nutty beloved undressed and sink your spoon into the substance that has surely been crafted by the angels above.
STOP!
Uh what? You're kidding. I'm 97% that if I don't put this spoon in my mouth right now I will die. The feeling so intense that the thought of NOT eating it at this point is just rediculous and impossible.
I present to you, The Bathroom Trick. I drink a lot of water...and coffee...and tea. 10/10 times if asked if I have to pee, I do. It's just a fact. So when I have a spoon, a fork, or a hand in something that I KNOW my body doesn't need, I put it down and go to the bathroom. In the 90 or so seconds it takes, I realize I haven't died. Imagaine that. The chances of me going back to that jar has greatly decreased as I remember what an incredible and rewarding thing willpower is. The Bathroom Trick saves me time and time again when that darn refridgerater is pissing me off...so..so punny. And true.
Yours may not be the "Bathroom" trick. Perhaps it's the Mailbox Trick: EVERY time you are about to annihilate food you don't need (and will feel bad eating after), take a walk to the mailbox. Or maybe it's the Brushing Teeth Trick. Or the Check Your Car's Mileage Trick.
The point is, choose something that will take 90 seconds (bonus points if your mailbox is further away) and just DO it. No thoughts, just do. Pick something, that one thing, you will do everytime. Whatever it is, it just needs to get you out of the kitchen in that very particular, exact moment of potential weakness, and give you a short period of time to remember what the difference between want and need is.
Like I said it doesn't matter what the trick is as long as it works. I happen to think mine's particularly "relieving" but maybe I'm a little biased;)
The peanut butter is still there...interesting. You'd think it could help you out and move behind the wilting lettuce...at least that way you wouldn't have to stare into it's glorious, chunky, brown eyes. And hey, there's that leftover pasta that, like a good Italian, has aged extremely well. These foods stare at you until you close the door, slink back to the couch, and look over your shoulder, walking away from a former lover. J'adorelafrigator.
ALRIGHTTT FINE. You leap off the couch and grab a spoon, a silver white flag of defeat. Wave it wildly as you yank open your lover's arms...err refrigerater door. Grasping the peanut butter jar you twist the top to get that nutty beloved undressed and sink your spoon into the substance that has surely been crafted by the angels above.
STOP!
Uh what? You're kidding. I'm 97% that if I don't put this spoon in my mouth right now I will die. The feeling so intense that the thought of NOT eating it at this point is just rediculous and impossible.
I present to you, The Bathroom Trick. I drink a lot of water...and coffee...and tea. 10/10 times if asked if I have to pee, I do. It's just a fact. So when I have a spoon, a fork, or a hand in something that I KNOW my body doesn't need, I put it down and go to the bathroom. In the 90 or so seconds it takes, I realize I haven't died. Imagaine that. The chances of me going back to that jar has greatly decreased as I remember what an incredible and rewarding thing willpower is. The Bathroom Trick saves me time and time again when that darn refridgerater is pissing me off...so..so punny. And true.
Yours may not be the "Bathroom" trick. Perhaps it's the Mailbox Trick: EVERY time you are about to annihilate food you don't need (and will feel bad eating after), take a walk to the mailbox. Or maybe it's the Brushing Teeth Trick. Or the Check Your Car's Mileage Trick.
The point is, choose something that will take 90 seconds (bonus points if your mailbox is further away) and just DO it. No thoughts, just do. Pick something, that one thing, you will do everytime. Whatever it is, it just needs to get you out of the kitchen in that very particular, exact moment of potential weakness, and give you a short period of time to remember what the difference between want and need is.
Like I said it doesn't matter what the trick is as long as it works. I happen to think mine's particularly "relieving" but maybe I'm a little biased;)
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Pleasure in the PROGRESS
When I walked off the stage on Saturday I had two main thoughts. The first, "beer me." The second, "well shucks." While the first thought was settled within a few hours (once it hits your lips it just tastes so good) the second has taken me a couple days to process.
I placed second which is a bit of a funny thing for the most obvious reasons. You were one step away from first. You were second best. One other person did "better" than you. But it's also wonderful for those exact same reasons. So close yet so far.
I was a little ashamed and upset with myself that I was even disappointed, where did all this "pleasure in the process" talk go?! Why couldn't I be estatic with an amazing weekend and pretty impressive results? I couldn't really resolve these thoughts until a couple days later when I was looking through old photos on my phone. Thankfully, I got myself one of them there smartphones right before this show last year. So I had the pictures I had taken exactly one year prior. Same location, same time of day, just one year later. I put two pictures side by side, this year and last, and it came together for me. I'm competing against myself and that's a show I hope I NEVER win.
Looking at the pictures next to each other helped me come to terms with the placement I got: I could see with clear eyes that I looked better this year and that's wonderful. It also helped me understand that this sport and even this lifestyle is never-ending. There's always room for improvement and progress.
When you see yourself putting down that snickerdoodle when you would've gobbled it up like Cookie Monster last year, pat yourself on the back. If you're not flexible, grab a friend to do it. Because you deserve it. When you lace up your sneakers for a walk outside when you would've flopped on the couch last year, give yourself another pat (or round up that loyal friend).
But take note: it aint ovah. Progress is wonderful as it means you're in a better place than before. But the thing about progress is that well, it can continue. Der. Think about what you've done so far and smile. Think about what you can do in the future and smile. This sport and living a healthy lifestyle is a personal journey that can have wonderful milestones along the way.
This past weekend was a little milestone for me. I got to see, in a specific picture, what changes the human form can make in a year through consistent healthy choices day after day. It's awesome. But I have another picture I'm going to add next year and I have some work to do to make that happen.
This journey is filled with bumps, hills, fatigue, and setbacks, but then you get a milestone. And I'm telling you, those are worth every damn pothole you come across.
I placed second which is a bit of a funny thing for the most obvious reasons. You were one step away from first. You were second best. One other person did "better" than you. But it's also wonderful for those exact same reasons. So close yet so far.
I was a little ashamed and upset with myself that I was even disappointed, where did all this "pleasure in the process" talk go?! Why couldn't I be estatic with an amazing weekend and pretty impressive results? I couldn't really resolve these thoughts until a couple days later when I was looking through old photos on my phone. Thankfully, I got myself one of them there smartphones right before this show last year. So I had the pictures I had taken exactly one year prior. Same location, same time of day, just one year later. I put two pictures side by side, this year and last, and it came together for me. I'm competing against myself and that's a show I hope I NEVER win.
Looking at the pictures next to each other helped me come to terms with the placement I got: I could see with clear eyes that I looked better this year and that's wonderful. It also helped me understand that this sport and even this lifestyle is never-ending. There's always room for improvement and progress.
When you see yourself putting down that snickerdoodle when you would've gobbled it up like Cookie Monster last year, pat yourself on the back. If you're not flexible, grab a friend to do it. Because you deserve it. When you lace up your sneakers for a walk outside when you would've flopped on the couch last year, give yourself another pat (or round up that loyal friend).
But take note: it aint ovah. Progress is wonderful as it means you're in a better place than before. But the thing about progress is that well, it can continue. Der. Think about what you've done so far and smile. Think about what you can do in the future and smile. This sport and living a healthy lifestyle is a personal journey that can have wonderful milestones along the way.
This past weekend was a little milestone for me. I got to see, in a specific picture, what changes the human form can make in a year through consistent healthy choices day after day. It's awesome. But I have another picture I'm going to add next year and I have some work to do to make that happen.
This journey is filled with bumps, hills, fatigue, and setbacks, but then you get a milestone. And I'm telling you, those are worth every damn pothole you come across.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Pleasure in the Process
I used to start planning my birthday party around mid-July. There was a venue to choose, balloon colors to pick through, and the very important matter of revising the guest list (when you're 8 this list can change a dozen times in an hour, largely dependent on whose beanie babie you're the most envious of). Needless to say, there was a lot to be done.
My mom always assured me there was enough time, afterall my birthday is in late October.
The cards coming from relatives in the weeks leading up to it, the trips to the dollar store to pick out goody bags, and the ANTICIPATION that wracked my head at night, "WILL I GET THAT EASY-BAKE OVEN OR NOT?!" All of these things just filled my autumn days with joy, excitement, and enthusiasm.
When the big day arrived I usually let my pent up energy and emotions get the best of me and I'd end up with a case of "too much birthday." I'd find myself a little disappointed, overwhelmed with guests, and exhuasted from all the sleepless nights I had spent pondering over what pinata to elect for my special day. There were many years when I would even get sent to my room, "Courtney, you may NOT ask the guests if they want the disappointing present you just opened."
Overtime I found that the big day could be taken on with a stable approach and could be enjoyed to the fullest being surrounded by family and friends. But still, I found and continue to find, absolute joy in the buildup. This has proven to be true in many cases: Christmas, prom, planning a vacation, etc...I have found the happiness in the process leading up these things to be just as great as the joy that comes on the actual event.
Recently I have again been experiencing sleepless nights. But instead of going over potential menu items (cool ranch dorito centerpieces or go with the classic nacho cheese?), I have been filled with thoughts of clear heels, oiled skin, and hopefully popping muscles. Before your mind travels a bit too far down a scandelous path, I am of course talking about the show I have this upcoming weekend. Excited is the understatement of the millenium.
However, what I have found with this sport, with this amazing lifestyle, is that again the pleasure is in the process. I genuinely love the transformation and overall progression that can take place before a show. Waking up to start your day by putting egg whites in that pan AGAIN, recieving that text from a fitness friend reminding you your day is getting closer, putting in another cardio session after a long day at work. Laughing at yourself when you make coffee and forget to add the coffee, genuine delight when you open the fridge and see your already prepared next meal, booking tanning sessions and hotel rooms. These things are what make me love this sport. Above all else it's the GRADUAL changes you begin to see in your physique, the slow transformation that begins to appear, an eventual visual indicator that the repetitions produced in the kitchen and in the gym are resulting in something great.
I have found that this process is what I love. Maybe it's a lack of sleep or diet that's bringing tears to my eyes now, but I just feel genuniely blessed that I have found a passion I love whole-heartedly. It may sound silly to some but that's ok: passions differ from person to person, what's important is that you have one.
My competition is in three days. I have done everything I can to be prepared and am able to acknowledge that whatever the result, I have succeeded by truly embracing and admiring the process. I now get to spend a weekend with some amazing people, witness the hard work of others, and laugh about the shenanigans that go along with ths sport. I've done everything I can and have loved (or at least appreciated) every second of the process.
And now it's here. Kids, grab your bat and head over to the swinging pinata...it's party time.
My mom always assured me there was enough time, afterall my birthday is in late October.
The cards coming from relatives in the weeks leading up to it, the trips to the dollar store to pick out goody bags, and the ANTICIPATION that wracked my head at night, "WILL I GET THAT EASY-BAKE OVEN OR NOT?!" All of these things just filled my autumn days with joy, excitement, and enthusiasm.
When the big day arrived I usually let my pent up energy and emotions get the best of me and I'd end up with a case of "too much birthday." I'd find myself a little disappointed, overwhelmed with guests, and exhuasted from all the sleepless nights I had spent pondering over what pinata to elect for my special day. There were many years when I would even get sent to my room, "Courtney, you may NOT ask the guests if they want the disappointing present you just opened."
Overtime I found that the big day could be taken on with a stable approach and could be enjoyed to the fullest being surrounded by family and friends. But still, I found and continue to find, absolute joy in the buildup. This has proven to be true in many cases: Christmas, prom, planning a vacation, etc...I have found the happiness in the process leading up these things to be just as great as the joy that comes on the actual event.
Recently I have again been experiencing sleepless nights. But instead of going over potential menu items (cool ranch dorito centerpieces or go with the classic nacho cheese?), I have been filled with thoughts of clear heels, oiled skin, and hopefully popping muscles. Before your mind travels a bit too far down a scandelous path, I am of course talking about the show I have this upcoming weekend. Excited is the understatement of the millenium.
However, what I have found with this sport, with this amazing lifestyle, is that again the pleasure is in the process. I genuinely love the transformation and overall progression that can take place before a show. Waking up to start your day by putting egg whites in that pan AGAIN, recieving that text from a fitness friend reminding you your day is getting closer, putting in another cardio session after a long day at work. Laughing at yourself when you make coffee and forget to add the coffee, genuine delight when you open the fridge and see your already prepared next meal, booking tanning sessions and hotel rooms. These things are what make me love this sport. Above all else it's the GRADUAL changes you begin to see in your physique, the slow transformation that begins to appear, an eventual visual indicator that the repetitions produced in the kitchen and in the gym are resulting in something great.
I have found that this process is what I love. Maybe it's a lack of sleep or diet that's bringing tears to my eyes now, but I just feel genuniely blessed that I have found a passion I love whole-heartedly. It may sound silly to some but that's ok: passions differ from person to person, what's important is that you have one.
My competition is in three days. I have done everything I can to be prepared and am able to acknowledge that whatever the result, I have succeeded by truly embracing and admiring the process. I now get to spend a weekend with some amazing people, witness the hard work of others, and laugh about the shenanigans that go along with ths sport. I've done everything I can and have loved (or at least appreciated) every second of the process.
And now it's here. Kids, grab your bat and head over to the swinging pinata...it's party time.
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