How to Be Healthier in The New Year (*cue eye roll*)

If you haven't felt bombarded by blogs, headlines, posts and articles about HOW TO BE HEALTHIER THIS NEW YEAR, chances are you're still enjoying that celebratory ball-dropping coma that was induced on Sunday.  Because if even I (like, someone who really likes broccoli and has trail mix in her purse) is annoyed, chances are, a normal bloke is about 2 eye-rolls away from cross-eyed irritation.

I would be a bit hypocritical if I took the standard Personal Trainer route of suggestions: start small...establish SMART goals (and write them down!)...drink more water...get 8 hours of sleep...FOOD PREP!...turn off electronics after 8pm...do you have a gratitude journal?...stretch in the morning...kale...dandelion chili...water infused with the laughter of children...

Okay so I'm getting a bit sassy but the truth is, those things, while sincerely applicable, appropriate and admirable, are just a bit too...generic and well...irritating for me (insert monkey covering eyes emoji).

See, most people with New Year goals are just hopeful cherubs tryin' to to do their best.  And telling someone who would really like to be healthier that swapping out their egg and sausage breakfast wrap for a green flax smoothie is the only way to do it is a bit shortsighted.  While this time of year is advantageous for professionally motivated, fitness-minded knuckleheads like me, it's not easy to subscribe to an entirely different lifestyle just because the clock struck midnight.

So...here's an unconventional list of less-than-obvious ways you can simply FEEL BETTER this New Year.  Because while Kale, Granite & Birch Bark smoothies are awesome (again sorry, slightly sassy this morning), enjoying them isn't gonna happen overnight...and before you throw your health goals to the wayside, give these whimsical little helpers a try.

• Open Your Window- yea, like while driving or for a few minutes at the office.  I know it's as cold as a penguin's tux out there but a cool blast of air will feel damn good.

• Say, "Thank You"- to the barista, your husband, that grumpy post man, the old woman who parked too close to you...be over-the-top with your vocal gratitude.

• Read...Something- I don't care if it's the flyer on the back of the cafe's bathroom door.  Take a few minutes to read something other than a caption.  If you're feeling extra ambitious, give a, gulp, BOOK a whirl.                                                      Some all time favs: Magical Thinking, Prep, The Nightingale, What Remains, 'Tis and anything by Elin Hilderbrand.

• Use Mints- and feel sophisticated as fork.

• While You're At It- drink some Earl Grey Tea one morning and start the day feeling like the slightly rundown, TJ Maxx wearing version of the Queen.

• Keep a Toothbrush at Work- feeling sleepy and less than stellar around 2pm?  Brush those chompers and feel freshtadeath.

• Chuck It- take 20 minutes each to throw out the wilting lettuce cropped in '99, donate the clothes you haven't worn since Fabolous was fabulous and dump out that junk drawer...you don't need 37 broken paperclips.

• Buy a Swiffer Duster- one swipe of that magic wand across a bookshelf will make you feel like Tidy betch.

• Change Your Clocks- no, we're not there yet but setting your clocks 4 minutes ahead will guarantee a more prompt (and less frenzied) departure.  Got used to accounting for such extra time?  Better make it 10.

• Small Talk- is not as pointless as thought to be.  You know the extra friendly CVS cashier who is enthralled by the weather?  Do more than smile and nod.  Practice with me,  "well nothing can compare to the snow 2 years ago right!" You'll make Maude's day.

• Pet a Dog- uh, duh.

• Call Your Mom- uh, also duh.

Like I said, a little anti-climactic but guaranteed (by...well...yours truly;)) to make you feel just a bit better.  And yaknow, feeling better is the first step to feeling great.